Monday, December 14, 2015

I Moved to Brazil and I Was Married

When I moved to Brazil from the U.S. a few months ago, my boyfriend and I moved in together. We share a one-bedroom apartment and in the eyes of most Brazilians this constitutes marriage. While in the U.S. children generally move out of their parents’ house at the ripe age of 18, Brazilians continue to live with their parents until they are married. There are exceptions in both countries of course. Some Americans do not move out of their parents’ home after graduating from high school. And we are seeing a trend with my generation which some call “the boomerang generation” as that many teenagers move out of their parents’ home for college but after move back in with their family. Some Brazilian adolescents need to move to a different city because of their university or job or perhaps they choose to move to a different country. And others are just very independent and choose to live on their own.

However, usually when Brazilians graduate from high school they go to a university near their home and stay under their parents’ roof until life takes them away from their childhood home. And if they are not moving out of their hometown than the most acceptable reason to stop living with their parents is getting married.

Compared to the U.S., dating in Brazil implies a more intimate relationship in which one is already part of the family. This is clear even through language. In Portuguese you do not say “my boyfriend’s mother” of “the father of my girlfriend.” Rather you say “minha sogra” or “meu sogro” translating to mother-in-law and father-in-law. Just dating someone means that you have in-laws. More likely than not, these in-laws live with your significant other so this closeness is not just through language but also through shared time and space. As opposed to the occasional Sunday brunches or family get-togethers, much more is expected from you as your role as a “daughter or son-in-law.”
Though one thing that Americans and Brazilians share is the idea of the undesirable mother-in-law. Brazilians love to tell jokes about the stereotypical mother-in-law. When sharing personal anecdotes they trump Americans in this sense because they have so many more experiences to draw from as they have had many more mothers-in-law.

And so when my boyfriend and I moved in together everyone from the doorman, to my capoeira instructor, to total strangers and even friends refer to him as my husband. If I try to correct them and inform them that really he is my boyfriend, that we are not married, the follow-up question is usually “but you are living together, right?” This is accompanied by a quizzical look and is really a rhetorical question, as though they are asking, “what are you trying to prove?” You live together and that’s marriage, no rings or ceremonies required.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

What’s Trending in Maceió

In 2012 I lived in the Northeastern Brazilian city Maceió on a Fulbright scholarship. Afterwards, I moved to New York City and in July of 2015 I returned to Brazil for another year in Maceió. And so I thought it was time that I revive my old blog.

It is always interesting to revisit a place or move back to a city that was once called home. In many ways I expected Maceió to remain stagnant, to be preserved as it was in my memory. Of course that is never the case. Not only has the place changed over the course of a few years but so have I and my perspective.

Over the past few months, while readjusting to life in the Northeast of Brazil, I have recognized many changes since my last stint here. I have outlined a few of my observations below. Of course none of this is based on quantitative/qualitative data of any kind, but rather anecdotal evidence, the advantage of an outsider living in a Brazilian city which does not garner much (if any) international attention, at two different periods of time.

Health Craze
Sitting at a restaurant in New York City shortly before returning to Brazil, some friends asked what food I would miss most. Moving from a city that offers literally every type of food imaginable to the Northeast of Brazil can be a bit of a shock, but I had done this before- I was prepared. I thought about it and then responded that while I would certainly crave a Chipotle burrito I would miss bagels, Thai food, and salads.

When I lived in Maceió in 2012 and even when I came back for a visit in April of 2014 it was nearly impossible to order a salad at a restaurant. If it was on the menu and I tried to order one the waiter would always respond with “acabou” that they were out of salad. But I was suspicious that they even had it to begin with and was curious as to why it was on the menu at all. The only “salad” I managed to get consisted of a wilted piece lettuce and two sad slices of tomato that’s sole purpose was to add color to a plate of rice, beans, and meat.

Yet, to my surprise (and delight) salads have been trending in Maceió. Salads at restaurants and even restaurants focusing on salads and healthy foods like the restaurant Salad Creations have become the new norm. 

In addition to this focus on healthy food there has been an influx of health fitness classes. When walking along the beach to the next neighborhood I encounter no less than four workout classes. Additionally near my apartment there are free dance fitness classes and Maceió even has a free, outdoor, beach gym.





Baby Parties
As long as I have known Brazil, baby clothes and toys have been expensive. Throwing birthday parties for one’s children is nothing new in Brazil. What is new, is throwing parties every month for the first year of their life. Yes, there are actually one-month parties and then two-month parties and so on until each baby has had a total of eleven parties (that they will never remember) leading up to the lavish one-year old party.

Parents are not skimping on these parties either. While I have not yet attended a month birthday party, I have heard stories and seen pictures. I did have the opportunity to attend a one-year old party, and granted the one-year old party is more grandiose than the month parties, but I was still not prepared for what I encountered. The party had a clown, catered food- including a crepe station, and decorations galore; it lasted until about 10pm. Brazilians have had years to practice the art of the one-year old party. According to my friends many one-year old parties are even more extravagant than the one I experienced and go into the wee hours of the morning.

Selfies
To be fair selfies have become popular world, not only in the Northeast of Brazil. However, in my opinion Brazilians have truly mastered selfies. If selfie-taking were an Olympic sport, Brazilians would easily take home the gold. It’s nearly impossible to be around other humans here and not see selfies being taken- whether they are individual, couples, or the large group selfies you can be sure that a Brazilian will document what is going on.

They may even embellish to secure an optimum selfie. I was at a party recently and the woman next to me wanted a drink. I offered her a glass of red wine but she declined, saying that she does not like red wine. Later on at the party the same woman was asking to borrow her friend’s glass of red wine so that she could snap a chic selfie of her with “her drink.”

Needless to say the selfie stick has done quite well here. And you see men walking around selling them one the beach about as often as you would see them sold in Times Square.

English= Still Impressive
Of course not everything has changed in Maceió. For better or worse, many things have remained the same. For example, English is just a trendy as it had been before.
New English words continue enter the (Brazilian) Portuguese vocabulary. Beyond obvious words that relate to technology and are new in any language- such as “selfie” there are unexpected words as well such as “bullying” which Brazilians say in English with a Portuguese accent.
Even Black Friday has become popular here. Throughout the month of November many stores and travel agencies advertise Black Friday specials, pronounced here as “Black-eeee Free-day.” Though many Brazilians lament that the sales are not as good as those they hear about in the U.S. Even people who sell snacks on the bus have started promoting Black Friday specials on Ruffles and Doritos!

I see more t-shirts with sayings written across the front in English than in Portuguese. I often wonder if the owner understands the meaning because there are many instances in which I do not. Some of the shirts were clearly bought in the U.S. or imported. There are shirts referencing bands or movies that you would see New Yorkers wearing on any given day. Then there are the shirts with cheesy catchphrases like “No Pain, No Gain” or “Do what you love and love what you do.” But there are also some confusing ones that I have never seen (nor expected to see) like one I saw the other day “The first name is Hungry. And my last name is Always. Nice to meet you.” Forget the awkward sentence structure and messed up grammar, if you’re going to try that on a shirt shouldn’t the name at least be “Always Hungry” instead of “Hungry Always?”


Moreover, restaurants, bars and other small businesses continue to employ English names to attract customers. There are many examples like the aforementioned “Salad Creations.” Speaking English continues to be a status symbol in Brazil, much like an iPhone 6.