Humor & Betrayal, the funny side of infidelity

It’s interesting to consider how humor translates across borders with varying cultures and languages.  Many find it reassuring to know that they can deliver a punch line in another country or a language other than their mother tongue. Telling jokes goes beyond simply ordering at a restaurant or finally figuring out the unwritten rules of the bus schedule.  These small victories make you feel a bit less like a tourist, but they do not make you feel like you’ve really assimilated.  However making people laugh (with you and not at you) is truly rewarding.

In the 2.5 months I have spent in Brazil thus far I have come to realize that there are some categories of jokes that are the same here and in the U.S.  For example, wisecracks about dumb blondes, terrifying mother-in-laws, and of course sex, are quite common.  However, there is a whole group of jokes that essentially don’t exist in American humor, cheating.  In Brazil there is a large emphasis on cheating in relationships.  Generally speaking it is very common, especially in the Northeast, for men to cheat on their girlfriends or wives; some even say it is expected.  Women also cheat on their boyfriends or husbands but not as frequently.  When it does happen the poor guy gets hell for it.  They are called cornos and as one Brazilian explained to me “once you’re a corno, you’re always a corno.”

In English we don’t even have a word for this; instead we are required to twist are tongues around and say, “Oh John, his girlfriend cheated on him” or “Susan was cheated on.”  In Brazil they not only have a word for this; they have a gesture too.  It involves raising one’s pinky and pointer finger.  Often Brazilians do this symbol behind someone’s head when they are taking a picture, like Americans do with “bunny ears.”  Beyond the gesture there is also a whole genre of music, Brega, which is dedicated to the subject of betrayal.

When I asked why this is such a common joke, one Brazilian suggested that cheating occurs so regularly that they need to make light of the situation.  Some people have even told me that certain cities and towns are well known for their cheating population; supposedly Arapiraca (the city I wrote about in my last post) is one of these cities.  In some places men who are cornos get together to form a makeshift support group; they listen to Brega, drink a lot, and try to mend their broken hearts (and overcome the humiliation that inevitably comes with their corno status).